But on Monday I was a wreck. Let’s preface my wreck:
1. Our house was waiting on an offer to come through (it since has and we are officially under contract)
2. I’ve been thinking a lot about leaving my job to pursue something that would pay more and I could work less. For the sake of my grades.
3. This is the first time in my entire life I haven’t gotten to spend Thanksgiving with my mom.
I was talking with a friend about how strange it is when you grow up, you lose your safety net of going home. And it doesn’t necessarily happen to everyone, but my mom moved into a small 2 bedroom house and my dad lives with my sister. There isn’t anywhere for me to go to be in complete comfort with my parents watching over me and me feeling safe.
A lot of folks don’t understand this…”You’re almost 26 and married…why do you need that??” I have had numerous panic attacks and it would be nice to be able to go to one of their houses and have that sense of comfortability and home. We always had my grandmother’s house, but that’s gone. We had mom’s house, but that’s also gone. It feels strange to have to explain it.
I called my mom on Monday to just say hi, but when she answered I was overwhelmed with how much I miss her and that I need to visit her more. I was a wreck. Both my parents live quite far away, so it’s hard for me to go over whenever.
Mom went with my stepdad to see his family in Texas. And while I’m glad he gets to see his family, i still couldn’t shake that i missed mom so much. I cried and cried and told mom i wanted them to be in Texas, it wasn’t fair for me to assume John never needs to see his family. But that I just missed her.
Imagine hating black people and being so blinded by patriotism
Didn’t some old bastard burn up his nikes while he was still wearing em and end up in the emergency room with third degree burns and bits of rubber grafted to his feet
